Why would anyone help me? I have nothing to offer.

That’s a common fear I hear from clients like Jodar, who feel uncomfortable “networking” during their job search. He doesn’t want to connect just to ask for something.

Sound familiar?

First, you will not be asking for something. I’ll get to that in the first point. Second, what’s the alternative? If you don’t start connecting with people, you’ll keep doing what you’re doing — sending cold applications and hearing nothing back.

I’ve worked for 7 companies in 12 years. On average, I’ve switched jobs every 1.5 years, and except for my first where I was recruited out of university, every role came through networking (or rather, relationship-building). I’ve never landed a position by sending a cold application.

Here’s how I help my clients reframe their approach to networking and get more comfortable with it:

1. It’s not networking — it’s relationship-building.

These are your future friends and colleagues.

People who understand how networking works are in it for the long game.

Think back to making friends as a kid. You didn’t walk up and say, “This is what I can do for you!” You said, “Hi, I like volleyball too!” In most cases, it’s enough to reach out with common ground, whether it’s a shared nationality, role, or association.

2. What do you have to offer? Often, it’s as simple as being a good listener.

In our daily lives, we aren’t often heard. It’s the same with the people you connect with. Reach out with curiosity and a genuine desire to learn about them.

As Dale Carnegie writes, “If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind: Become genuinely interested in other people.”

3. Not everyone will connect — and that’s normal.

It’s not you.

It’s just how the numbers work. That’s why it’s Project 100, not Project 2. If you connect with the right message, 50-80% will connect back. The rest of the people are probably in a busy time in their life right now, or they don’t check LinkedIn. Who knows? It doesn’t matter. Keep the focus on building relationships, and the results will follow.

So, if you’re stuck sending cold applications, it’s time to change tactics. Reach out, connect, and build relationships.

Your next opportunity is likely waiting through a conversation.